Elf On The Shelf

Elf on the shelf

“Oh, shoot!” I hissed, unpacking out the Christmas decorations.

“What is it honey?” my husband Jack asked, looking up from his phone.

“I forgot to put elf on the shelf out weeks ago.” I grumbled. “And you didn’t help to remind me, either.”

“Yeah, well, you wanted to start this stupid tradition, of be good or Santa will put a lump of coal in your sock,” He defended, holding his hands up.

“Well, you could still help.” I spat, placing the elf on the mantel.

I continued to unpack the decorations so that when the kids got home from my sister’s we could put up the tree together. Afterwards, I walked back to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of wine. I let out a squeak when I saw the baldly elf fall over on the kitchen counter.

“Damnit Jack!” I cursed loudly.

“What now?” Jack moaned, coming out of the den.

“Very funny.” I grumbled, holding the elf up.

He tried to look confused, but he had a terrible poker face. We both burst out laughing.

“You’re an ass.”

“But you love me.”

“Finish up with the lights.” I chuckled, going to put the elf back on the mantelshelf.

I continued writing the rules out for the elf on the shelf, as this would be the first year that Lizzy, our youngest, would be old enough to be part of the tradition and understand the rules of naughty and nice. We would all go through the rules together.

A car pulled up and three loud giggling, excited voices came up the pathway and through the front door. I waved to my sister, who was on the way to pick up my parents from the airport. They would be staying with her and come over to our house for Christmas day.

After greeting the kids and making them hot coco and cookies, we all started decorating the tree while listing to their adventures spent by my sister. She and Cole could not have children, so our kids are their everything and they get spoiled rotten.

“Ok, time for elf on the shelf rules. Bob, the elf has graced us with his presence.” I stated, pointing to the elf on the mantel.

“But Mom, Kenny’s house has had Bob out for weeks now.” Max, our oldest, said, folding his arms and raising his eyebrow.

He looked adorable, trying to be clever. But he was smart, too smart for his own good.

“Well, yes, Bob the elf was at Kenny’s house, but now it is our turn. Because that is what an elf’s job is. He spends time at everybody’s home and then report’s back to Santa to let him know if the children have been naughty or nice.” I explained quickly watching Max’s face as he absorbed the explanation, I fed him.

He pondered for a second or so before nodding, accepting my answer. I sighed in relief as I could just imagine that disaster of the kids realizing Santa was not real.

“Ok, so here are the rules.” I said before clearing my throat and opening a piece of paper. “You may not touch Bob the elf, otherwise he loses his powers and cannot return to the North pole, and then Bob will be stuck here forever. And you will forever be on the naughty list.”

The kids gasped, and Lizzy wanted to cry, but Max and Harry comforted her.

“That’s only if you touch Bob.” Jack stated, picking Lizzy up.

“But you can talk to Bob and tell him anything you want. From your Christmas wishes to anything that is making you happy or sad.” I said, watching their faces light up.

Jack took the paper from to continue the rest of the rules.

“Ok, so Bob the elf moves all over the house to make sure that you behave all over and not just in the living room.

After that, we went about the rest of the day and watched the kids walk past Bob, staring at him. Lizzy reached up and almost touched him but then she withdrew her hand and instead very loudly whispered to the elf that she wanted a pony or tricycle. I smiled at just how cute it was because she was getting a tricycle.

Harry snuck a cookie out after being told no more, only to give it to Bob. Jack then snuck in and took a bite out of the cookie so that it looked like Bob ate some of it. Max put his favorite toy soldier next to Bob so that he would have company. It was the cutest thing ever and my heart swelled with so much love.

“Hey, I’m going to move elf and prank the kids.” Jack whispered with a naughty smile.

“Absolutely not!” I scolded angrily.

“Ah, come on, honey. It will be hilarious.’’ He chuckled.

“No!” I stated firmly, slapping my knife down on the counter.

“Just imagine elf in the tub or in the closet. Or, or cut up their pjs...” Jack said, ignoring me.

“No! What the hell Jack? That is beyond disgusting and not to mention that you would be traumatizing to those kids forever.” I spat, trying to keep my voice low.” I swear Jack if you try anything like that, anything it’s you and me and it won’t be pretty. Do I make myself clear?”

“Fine.” Jack growled, getting up and leaving the kitchen.

I was beyond fuming. How could Jack think something like that was ok. Did aliens take over my husband or what? I walked over to the elf just to make sure Jack had not moved the stupid thing. The elf was still in the same place.

Finally after a semi awkward dinner, everyone was in bed and fast asleep until Max woke us up screaming and crying as he ran into our room. As Jack switched the light on, I saw Max’s favorite pjs cut to shreds. I glared at Jack as I comforted Max. Finally after getting Max changed and to calm down and fall asleep again, I was beyond annoyed.

“I thought I told you no freaking pranks, Jack!” I snapped, poking my finger at his chest.

“What?!!” he spluttered. “That wasn’t me. I would never destroy Max’s, or any of the other kids’ pjs, let alone their clothes. That shit costs money.”

“You were the one that wanted to prank the kids.” I insisted.

“Yeah, like toothpaste in their hair or a flour bomb, but not that, not cutting up their favorite clothes. I know I mentioned it, but I never ever would act upon it. Such a psycho I am not. And worst of all is that you think so low of me.” He growled in dismay.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that when you said you wanted to prank the kids, after I said no, I truly thought that you did.” I explained feeling bad for having jumped to conductions so quick.

“It’s ok honey. Let’s check in on the other kids, then go back to bed,” Jack said as he guided me to Harry’s room.

How the other kids didn’t wake up with all the commotion heaven knows. But there was Harry, fast asleep, clutching his teddy, that he will deny sleeping with. I pulled his covers up, only to find a pair of scissors next to him.

No! There is no way that Harry would ever do such a thing to his brother, I thought in absolute terror. I took the scissors and left the room feeling hurt and confused. Harry was the sweetest boy. He would hold open doors for the elderly. And he has never shown any form of such behavior.

“Lizzy is fast asleep.” Jack said, pleased coming out of her room.

I held out the scissors, and Jack’s face hardened with anger.

“Harry’s never done anything like this, ever. What does this mean?” I asked, feeling anxious and confused.

“It means that Harry is grounded. No birthday for him.”

“I agree with the grounded part. But let’s first speak to Harry and figure out why he did it.”

Jack nodded, and we headed back to bed for the remainder of the night in a restless sleep.

After sitting Harry down to find out what happened, he argued, cried, and pleaded with us to believe that he would never do such a thing. Of course, Max was angry that his brother would do such a thing. So, the whole house was full of tension and silence.

“Hey Jack, honey. Did you move the elf?” I asked later that afternoon when I noticed the elf wasn’t on the mantel anymore.

“No. You know I leave that stuff to you.” Jack defended, frowning.

“Well, I didn’t move it. Do you think one of the kids did it? Harry in particular? “I asked feeing quilt for accusing Harry.

But after last night-s stunt and lying about, I wouldn’t put anything past Harry at this point. Jack shrugged just as the doorbell rang. It was Harry’s birthday cake for the next day. There would have been a party, but we cancelled it as part of Harry’s punishment.

The day passed with Lizzy finally finding the elf in her toy trunk. After going over the rules again and all the kids denying moving the elf. Jack and I agreed to move Bob the elf after they were all asleep.

“Let’s place the elf by the cake.” Jack suggested, holding the elf. “You know, so that Harry doesn’t sneak down and eat the cake.”

“I don’t think he will do that. He’s never done it belie.”

“Well, he’s never cut up his brother’s clothes before. “

I just shook my head, unable to understand where this odd behavior was coming from. Jack set up the elf next to the cake, and we headed to bed. We were all awake early and headed downstairs to get coffee and breakfast. Harry let out a scream as he was the First in the kitchen. We all rushed in and gasped in horror. Harry’s cake had been destroyed. Smashed, crumbled, eaten, and splatted all over the floor. And the elf was covered in cake.

“What the?”

“OK! Who did this?!” Jack yelled, glaring at Harry I who was crying.

The kids stared at in confusion.

“OK then, if no one wants to confess, then you are all grounded and Christmas is cancelled.” He spat angrily, picking up the elf. “And I will write a letter to Santa to come fetch Bob and you will always get coal instead of presents. You will forever be on the naughty list.”

“Jack!” I scolded.

The kids cried and begged and insisted on their innocence, but Jack wouldn’t hear any of it and sent them to their rooms for the day.

“Don’t you think you were a little too unreasonable and hard on them? Especially with tizzy.” I asked after the kids ran upstairs crying and slamming their doors.

“They haven’t obeyed the rules of the elf on the shelf. Heaven Knows what is going on with Harry. And Max, for all we know, it was him getting back at Harry for the pajama thing,” he explained with frustration.

“It’s just... None of them have ever acted out like this ever. I’m worried about they will do next.” I croaked wiping away a few tears.

“Me too. But for now, I think the punishment fits the crime. And you know Lizzy will never snitch on her brothers, so unfortunately, she has to pay for the crime, too.” He stated firmly, throwing the ruined cake into the bin.

I nodded, feeling sad and so disappointed that my children were acting up like this. It’s not normal behavior. The phone rang, and it was my parents and sister wanting to wish Harry a happy birthday. They would be coming over later with presents. But Jack explained what had happed and let them know that Harry wasn’t allowed to get presents but they could speak to him over the phone and that dinner was also cancelled till we could find the underlying cause of this. Reluctantly, they agreed. After they spoke to a tearful, angry Harry, I picked up the phone.

“I’m going to make an appointment with the physiologist as soon as possible.” I said, paging through the yellow pages.

Jack nodded as he continued to clean up the mess. Later, both Jack and I went up to the boys’ room to see if we could figure out what was going on or what made them so angry with each other. But after a while going back and forth, we couldn’t notice anything. There was no animosity between either of the siblings other than love and normal sibling rivalry.

“Let’s give it one more day and see what happens,” Jack suggests after a quiet dinner.

I sighed but nodded, hoping in the process that we don’t destroy the Kids’ trust and love for each other. Jack placed a clean Bob the elf on the top of the staircase. We went to bed.

Throughout the night, Jack and I took turns checking on the kids to make sure there was no ill behavior during the night. Finally, after many hours, we came to a realization nothing was going to happen tonight. We were both exhausted.

Jack and I were up before the kids.

“Honey?” I called out to Jack, who was finishing up in the bathroom.

“Yeah.” He poked his head out of the door.

“Did you move the elf?”

“Why on earth would you think I move the baldly thing again? And why do you keep asking me?” he snapped, coming to the foot of the staircase.

“Because the elf is not here.” I stated, pointing at the empty railing.

Without another word, we each rushed into the boy’s room. Each of them both fast asleep, Harry snoring slightly. Jack called out to me from Lizzy’s room. I rushed to him, only to clamp my hands over my mouth to stifle a scream.

Lizzy’s face was drawn on with permeant sharpie markers. She had a black curly beard and moustache, red cheeks, and green hair covering the rest of her face. And elf was above her bed with marker stuck in its hand.

“What the hell!” Jack hissed, blood red in the face.

“We check on the kids all night. How did they get past us? And why Lizzy?! I cannot believe that either of them would ever hurt her like this. They’re always so protective of Lizzy.” I sobbed, looking at Lizzy’s poor face.

It would take weeks to get the graffiti off without her face getting burnt with scrubbing it. Jack rushed out of Lizzy’s room to the boys’ and yanked each one of the boys out of their beds, crying and screaming, only for him to pull them to Lizzy’s room. Lizzy had woken up to the commotion only to see her Face In the mirror on her closest door and burst out crying.

“Which one of you did this?!” Jack bellowed, squeezing their shoulders.

Both boys cried out, denying that either would do such a horrible thing to their Lizzy. At one point I believed them, but Jack was too enraged to listen to the boys and spanked each one of them and sent them back to their rooms.

Finally, after getting Lizzy to calm down and trying to get most of the graffiti off her face. I called my parents and jack’s parents, asking them to each to take a boy. Maybe separating them would work and finically we could figure out their motives and behavior. Lizzy would stay with us.

After tearful and angry kids, the house was quiet, and we just decided to take a nap with Lizzy in our bed. We all woke with a fright from a noise coming from downstairs. We rushed down, only to find nothing.

We looked around, switching lights on until Lizzy squealed excitedly, pointing to the mantel where Bob the elf was standing with a paper toy, a cootie catcher or something like that. Bob the elf slowly turned its head towards.

“Let’s play!”